The Quest
by Manigault
Summary: GS Last chapter added. Thanks again to everyone who has read and enjoyed.
1. Default Chapter

Title: The Quest  
  
By: Manigault  
  
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. They belong to CBS, Anthony Zuiker, and Alliance-Atlantis.  
  
Spoilers: Who knows. It could be based on various spoilers that are floating around.in a very general sense. Mostly, it is what I would like to see happen. There is a spoiler that has changed since I started this piece. That is the fact that Warrick is in competition for the promotion and not Nick. I decided to leave it as Warrick, because it flowed much better..I think.  
  
Note: This is a stand-alone fluff piece. I'm working on a sequel for Day by Day. This is not it.  
  
Special Note: Thanks Alison, for editing and for your wonderful comments.  
  
Sara paced in front of the desk, all nervous energy and pent up annoyance echoing in each step and abrupt turnabout of her heels. She had mucked things up a few months ago and now she needed to prove to herself, and to him, that she was not some gal with a crush on her boss. That she could and should receive the promotion based on her work and her work alone.  
  
Sara stopped pacing as a memory of the reason she had stayed in Vegas in the first place vibrated inside her mind. Warrick. He was the reason that Grissom had called her and asked her to do him a favor. Some people thought that she was Grissom's pet, a term that left her steaming, but she was not. For some unbeknown reason, Grissom had a protective arm around Warrick. The man could do no wrong in the supervisor's eyes. Whereas, she could sneeze and he would give her a lecture about cleanliness in the work place.  
  
"Shit. Shit." Folding her arms at the elbows, Sara glared at the internal dialogue until a bemused voice made her chin snap up and her eyes darken.  
  
The object of her thoughts, one of them at least, hovered in the doorway.  
  
"That's professional, Sara." Warrick smirked as his eyes traveled past her around the room and then slowly back to her crimson face. "You think that throwing a tantrum in the boss's office will win you brownie points?"  
  
"That's your area of expertise, Warrick." Sara berated herself for placing herself in anyone's, particularly Warricks', line of fire.  
  
The edge of Warrick's lips curved and he shook his head. "That was low, Sara."  
  
"And what was your comment?" Sara countered with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"I was teasing you, Sara. It was a joke." The smile slipped from his face and his eyes narrowed on her masked face. "I think that you are taking this promotion thing way too seriously."  
  
Sara narrowed her eyes and tried to gage his thoughts. "You aren't taking it seriously, Warrick? It isn't something that you truly want?"  
  
"I didn't say that." Warrick shook his head again. "I'm going home. It's been an impossibly long night."  
  
Sara watched him leave. She felt a second of remorse for her quick response to his teasing, but coming on top of her thoughts it was jarring to say the least. She was so tired of Catherine and Warrick dictating what and how they would run a case or how they could bring their personal lives into the case while Grissom looked the other way.  
  
"What was that about?" Grissom stood in the doorway sporting a puzzled expression. He stared at Sara and hoped that she would not bring up the promotion.  
  
Sara stared at him for a beat while she attempted to organize her jumbled thoughts. Her eyes traveled to his beard almost without conscious thought and she had to readjust again to seeing him with the facial addition. It reminded her of when she had first met him, years ago at that seminar in San Francisco. It also made her recall her feelings of being his avid student while he lectured on forensics.  
  
"Sara?"  
  
The questioning way he spoke her name, released the torrent of words that she had been rehashing in her brain for the past hour.  
  
"I deserve this promotion, Grissom. I want to make sure that you look at my record as an investigator and not my brief lapse of professionalism that night I mistakenly asked you to dinner. I was in shock from the explosion. I probably should have taken a few days off to recuperate and then things would not have been so..muddled."  
  
Grissom locked his jaw as he stared at her earnest expression. "You are saying that you made a mistake when you propositioned me? Now, you regret it?"  
  
Anger lit her eyes and she exploded with indignation. "I did not proposition you Grissom! I asked you to dinner. I go to dinner with my co- workers all of the time."  
  
"To see what happens?" Grissom pressed. He was not sure why he was teasing her about this. He should have been feeling relieved that she was backpedaling, trying to extricate herself out of the situation in which she had placed them.  
  
He did not expect to see the hurt that flashed across her face or the glistening in the corner of her eyes.  
  
"I should never have asked you that, Grissom. I know where you stand regarding your, for lack of a better word, your lack of feelings for me." She licked her lips and with a nervous gesture of her hands she waved them towards him. "I realize that we can't recapture our friendship of the past, so I'm trying to mend our working relationship so that we can move forward."  
  
Grissom had not expected those words to cut him so deeply. He was the one that had mucked things up completely by not being honest with Sara. If the meaning behind her words were to be accepted at face value then she was telling him it was now too late, at least for their personal relationship, but not their professional relationship. The problem was separating the two issues. There had been so much going on his life during that night. The explosion. His pending surgery. He had not had time to process everything and categorize his feelings..or hers.  
  
"Sara." Grissom looked down to formulate his thoughts.  
  
Sara rolled her eyes. She would have fled the room if he had not been standing in the doorway, blocking her path. His silence was speaking volumes.  
  
"I realize that you were in shock." Grissom looked up to gauge her reaction. "I won't hold it against you when I write my evaluation. You are one of the best investigators in the field." He shook his head and removed his glasses. "But, I'm insulted that you don't trust me to be fair."  
  
Relief turned quickly into anger. Sara could not believe that he was trying to turn this back onto himself.  
  
"You know what, Gris?" Sara folded her arms and stared at him with what she hoped was a steady look. "I do trust you. I don't know what I was thinking." She nodded towards the hallway. "If you will kindly step aside, I think that I will go home and rest."  
  
Grissom did not care for the look in her eyes, nor the way she was so anxious to get away from him. Since when had his friendship with Sara become so strained? He thought back to that day his old mentor had dropped the bombshell concerning Sara's relationship with that man, whatshisname. Grissom shuddered internally and suppressed the reasons for his discomfort.  
  
"Excuse me," Sara stood inches from him, her expression closed off to his inspection.  
  
Stepping aside, Grissom allowed her to flee his office without a backwards glance in his direction. Watching her retreat, he knew that it was time he did some re-evaluating.  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter Two

Title: The Quest Part two  
  
Sara returned to the lab, refreshed, and with a determination that drove her to make the first move in smoothing things over with Warrick.  
  
She found him in the break room, reading the newspaper.  
  
"Hey, Warrick." Sara greeted him with a smile as she eased onto the sofa beside him. When Warrick grunted in response, she reached over and tapped his newspaper. "I'm sorry about my comments earlier."  
  
Warrick looked up and shrugged. "You didn't say anything that you didn't intend to say, Sara."  
  
"What?" Sara was not sure that Warrick was really going down this road. "Care to explain what you mean by that?"  
  
Releasing a deep sigh, Warrick looked over at Sara. "I mean, that you have this drive to prove something to everyone lately. More so than usual." He shook his head. "I don't know what's going on with you, Sara, but I do know that I'm not backing down from this opportunity."  
  
"Did I ask you to back down, Warrick?" Sara was truly offended that Warrick would suggest that she would expect that of him.  
  
"Not in so many words." Warrick sighed again. Folding the newspaper, he stood. "Forget it, Sara. I apologize for teasing you this morning and I accept your apology."  
  
Sara watched him walk out of the break room. Picking up the discarded newspaper, she stared at it with bleary eyes as she mulled over Warwick's words. She was trying to prove something, not only to Grissom and everyone else, but also to herself. She needed to get past her feelings for Grissom and move forward with her life and with her career. She had thought that she was doing this in a professional manner.  
  
"Sidle."  
  
The sound of Carvallo's voice echoed through Sara's thoughts. Her chin snapped away from her chest and she found an unsmiling Carvallo standing in the doorway.  
  
"May I speak with you in my office?"  
  
Sara nodded and watched him walk away.  
  
------------------ ----------------------- Sara was surprised to find not only Carvallo, but also Ecklie, Sheriff Atwater and Grissom waiting inside the office. She noted the smug expression on Ecklie's face and the speculative one on the Sheriff's as she turned to the lab director with an expectant look. Grissom stared at the floor, averting his eyes.  
  
"Please close the door behind you, Miss Sidle." Carvallo motioned towards a chair that was placed in front of his desk. "And, please have a seat."  
  
Sara did not care for the patronizing tone that Carvallo conveyed as he indicated the chair. With reluctance, she sat and waited for him to explain why she was in his office and why the Sheriff and day shift supervisor were present. She wondered if Grissom knew what this meeting was about or if he was just as surprised.  
  
Carvallo pushed something across the desk without a word. Silence enveloped the room as Sara picked up the piece of paper and stared at in shock. It was an evaluation form. Grissom had turned in her evaluation and for the first time since becoming an investigator Sara had not scored a perfect. She knew that shock registered on her face and resented the fact that Ecklie was there to gloat over the fact. Trying to steel her emotions, she directed her gaze and her questions at Carvallo, studiously ignoring her initial urge to turn to Grissom and demand answers.  
  
"Why the shock value, Mr. Carvallo? Did you call me in here to tell me that I do not stand a chance at getting the promotion? If you are basing it on this, then I have to admit that I don't agree with it."  
  
"I don't think that you are the only one surprised by this evaluation, Miss. Sidle." Carvallo wore a sympathetic expression. "Obviously, there is some issue that your supervisor has with you personally. At least, that is the way it appears to those of us who have access to your work ethic and solve rate. Do you care to enlighten us?"  
  
Sara felt like she had been punched in the gut and now the bullies were trying to convince her that they were her friends. With a sudden clarity, she also realized that Grissom was the true object of this meeting and that just as he held the cards to her evaluation, she held the ace. She could sink him if she was inclined. As quickly as the realization crossed her mind, she dismissed it as impossible. She would give up her own career before she would allow anything to touch Grissom's.  
  
"What do you have against Grissom, Mr. Carvallo? What about you, Sheriff Atwater? Why are you insinuating that he gave me an unfair evaluation?"  
  
Annoyance flickered behind Carvallo's eyes, but he shot a warning look towards Ecklie when the man snorted.  
  
"You told us that you did not agree with the evaluation."  
  
"I don't." Sara was furious with Grissom, but she would not let these vultures know that. "However, he is in the best position to evaluate me." She felt his intense gaze boring into her from across the room. It took every thing she had not to turn and look at him. "He must have a plausible reason for giving me such low scores."  
  
Grissom knew this was his opportunity to speak. He stared at Sara's solemn face and asked himself the question that he knew she was thinking.  
  
"Do you have a plausible explanation, Grissom?" It was Atwater that spoke, and his voice dripped sarcasm.  
  
Grissom's brow furrowed. "It isn't a bad score, Sara. It isn't a 100, but this isn't an annual evaluation. This is an evaluation for a supervisory position on the evening shift. I don't think that you are ready for that level of responsibility."  
  
The hurt look she gave him shook him to his core, but he held her eyes and refused to back down.  
  
"Okay." Sara's voice was strong, but he detected the slight waver in the way she said it.  
  
"Oh, this is crazy," Ecklie stood up and paced over to the front of the desk. "Sara, you know that you should have had that position. Carvallo?"  
  
Carvallo sighed. "We have discussed it, Sidle," He looked from Grissom to Sara. "If you want the position, it is yours."  
  
Sara expected to feel elation with these words. Instead, she felt a stab of disappointment and uncertainty. Grissom did not think she was ready. Did it matter to her what he thought? She knew that it did matter, but she also felt that she was ready to take on this new responsibility---at least she did until now.  
  
"Let me think about it." Sara was surprised by her own hesitation. She avoided Grissom's eyes and spoke only to Carvallo.  
  
"You can let me know by noon tomorrow." Carvallo dismissed them with a lift of his hand.  
  
Sara spun on her heel and left the room, not bothering to stop and wait for Grissom to catch up with her. She knew that he was only steps behind her, but he said nothing until she was inside the locker room.  
  
"Sara."  
  
"I don't want to hear it, Grissom," She opened her locker and took out her pocket book. "I would like the rest of the evening off, if that's okay with you? I need time to decide what my decision will be."  
  
"No, it's not okay." Grissom leaned his shoulder against the lockers. Turning her head to look at him, Sara raised her eyebrows in question.  
  
"I need to get away from here," She paused, and then added. "I need to get away from you. I need to think without everything clouding my mind."  
  
Grissom appreciated her honesty. He knew that it was hard for her to admit that he had the ability to muddle her thoughts. The question in his mind was why did he have that affect on Sara? In addition, why did she have that affect on him?  
  
"I need your help on this Williams case," Grissom kept his voice firm. "I don't want you to run away, Sara."  
  
"Excuse me?" Sara stepped back and slammed her locker door shut. "I'm asking for the night off to think. You call that running away?"  
  
"If you take that position, then you are running away."  
  
"If I was running away then I would hand you a leave of absence or my resignation," Sara marveled at the way those words caused him to wince. "I'm considering a move to another shift. A step up the ladder."  
  
"Is that what you think?" Grissom smirked.  
  
"That's what I know," Sara held his glare. "What are you afraid of, Grissom? Are you worried that if I'm on another shift you will have no control over me anymore?"  
  
"I wasn't aware that I had control over you now," Grissom rubbed his forehead and released a heavy sigh. "Listen, Sara. I need you to stay on my shift. In a few years you will be running this lab if you want it, and I will back you one hundred percent. For now, I think that you should stay with me, with my team."  
  
"With you? Or with your team?" Sara pressed. She was tired of the confusion he brought her on a daily basis.  
  
A pounding began picking up speed in his brain as he searched for the right words. "Sara," He always seemed to start with her name. It rolled off his tongue so easily. So much of what he was feeling was compacted into that one name. If he could interpret those meanings, or if she could, then everything would be perfect.  
  
"Gris, I can't do this," Sara eased herself onto the bench and let her pocket book settle at her feet. She felt his movements as he straddled the bench beside her. Close beside her, as she felt one of his knees touch her back and the other her thigh.  
  
"I don't want you to take that position, Sara."  
  
"Because the lab needs me? I'm not leaving the lab."  
  
"No," Grissom reached over and touched the top of her hand. "Because I need you."  
  
Sara felt a shiver of doubt run along her spine. She heard his words and felt his hands touching her hands as his eyes skimmed over her face.  
  
When she turned to look at him, her resolve faded. He looked so vulnerable. So eager for her reply.  
  
"You gave me a bad evaluation, Grissom." She watched the emotions play across his face. "That could hurt my chances of taking over the lab in a few years." She let the smile lift her lips at the edges. She was not letting go of her anger with him, but she was beginning to suspect the reasons behind his actions.  
  
"I'm sorry," Grissom knew that he should hold back his defense. Now was not the time to repeat his earlier statement about this not being her annual. He would not hesitate to give her perfect when that time rolled back around.  
  
"You should be," Sara shook her head. "I still would like the night off, Grissom. I haven't made up my mind."  
  
A flash of disappointment spread through Grissom. He let go of her hand and stood abruptly. "I can't let you leave."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because---." Grissom took a deep breath and let it out in a rush of words. "If it's the last night you work my shift, then I want you working with me."  
  
"The last night I work your shift?" Sara repeated the words aloud as they slowly registered in her numb mind. "Grissom?"  
  
He would not look at her, but stared towards his shoes. Standing up, she stood in front of him and took his hands. "You act as if you want to work with me, but for the past year you have rarely had me on the same case with you. Why now?"  
  
"I always want you with me on cases, Sara." Grissom knew that his past actions did not speak well for that statement. "It's---." He sighed. "You can have the night off. You will let me know what you decide before you tell Carvallo? At least give me that."  
  
Sara dropped his hands. "I'll let you know."  
  
Grissom watched as she left the room. When the door closed softly, he shut his eyes and leaned against the locker.  
  
--------------------------------- ----------  
  
She could not sleep. Her mind was wide-awake as she paced her apartment and relived the past three years. By five, she knew what her decision would be and wondered if she should phone Grissom or make him wait. She decided he could wait. It was close to the end of shift when she made the phone call that would either begin or end her career.  
  
"Grissom." His sensual voice echoed over the wire and almost made her choke on her words.  
  
"Hi, Gris." Sara could hear him inhale sharply. "I thought that I would let you know that I made a decision."  
  
"Sara," Grissom turned his back on the alert eyes of Catherine and Brass as they all stood outside of the interrogation room in police headquarters. "I've been thinking, and before you make your final decision maybe we should talk."  
  
"I made my decision," Sara considered his words after she spoke. Would it be such a bad idea to hear what Grissom had to say? It did not matter; she would not change her opinion.  
  
"What is it, then?" Grissom gripped the phone and waited for her to tell him she was taking the position.  
  
"Do you want to meet me for breakfast? I would rather tell you face to face."  
  
Then she could see his expression when she broke the news, Grissom thought to himself. He almost said a flat out no, but something made him sway. There was something in her tone, or maybe some sense of hope within himself that made him reconsider.  
  
"Where?"  
  
Sara let go of the breath she had been holding. She was positive that he would say no.  
  
"My place?"  
  
He raised one brow and stared at the cement wall. "Okay."  
  
"Do you know where I live?"  
  
"Yeah." Grissom did know, because he had driven past her place a few times. Once when he found out about Hank. Another time when he learned he had inherited Otosclerosis.  
  
"Are you leaving work soon?" Sara opened her refrigerator and stared at the contents. It was filled to capacity with various items since she had made a midnight run to the store.  
  
"We finished interrogating a suspect in the Williams case. I think that Catherine and Brass can finish here," Grissom did not risk looking at his friends. He kept his back to them as he closed his phone and spoke over his shoulder. "Catherine, will you handle the paperwork?"  
  
"Where are you off to?" Brass asked. He exchanged a knowing smile with Catherine.  
  
Grissom could hear the teasing in his friend's voice and spun around, hoping his face remained as numb as the rest of his body.  
  
"I'm going to meet Sara for breakfast so that she can officially tell me she is accepting the evening shift position."  
  
Brass was stunned. Catherine alarmed.  
  
"Is that what Sara told you, Gil?" Catherine asked.  
  
"Not in so many words. She wants to break the news to me in person."  
  
Catherine relaxed. "Tell Sara congratulations." She tuned her back and rolled her eyes for Brass's benefit.  
  
Grissom opened his mouth to sputter some response, shut it, and left them to walk rapidly towards the front entrance.  
  
"Do you think she is taking that position?" Brass asked her when Grissom was out of earshot.  
  
Catherine held up a hand and pulled her phone out with the other. Punching a speed dial number she waited for Sara to pick up.  
  
"Is it true? Are you taking that position?"  
  
She listened to Sara's reply. "Take it easy on him, Sara, okay? I think that his hibernation period is over and he is just waking up."  
  
Sara did not laugh. Assuring Catherine that she would be gentle, they said goodbye.  
  
Catherine turned to an expectant Brass. "Let's do some paperwork, Jim, and I will update you on the latest GSR information."  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter Three

The Quest  
  
A ringing cell phone jarred Grissom from his musings. He picked the phone off the seat and stared at the display. He knew that Sara was wondering where he was and why he had not reached her apartment in the two hours since speaking with him.  
  
He had been sitting in his car outside of her apartment for those hours, trying to come to grips with the fact that Sara would no longer be on his team. If he were honest with himself, then the past year and half was almost the same as Sara being on another shift. He rarely saw her and when they did, it was tense and filled with unspoken emotions.  
  
With a heavy sigh, he pressed a button on his phone and waited.  
  
"Grissom? Did you decide not to come over? Are you driving around, lost?"  
  
Grissom took another breath and then breathed it out in the most sincere answer he had given her in the past three years.  
  
"I've been lost, Sara, but I've discovered where I belong."  
  
A long silence ensued as Sara processed these words. Finally, when he was about to hang up and climb from his car, Sara spoke.  
  
"You can't do this to me, Gris. Not when I've made up my mind." Sara must have put the phone on the counter and then retrieved it, because he heard a soft thud before her voice reached him. "I don't want you to come over, Grissom. I will tell you my decision on the phone."  
  
"Too late, Sara. I'm outside your door." Grissom clicked off the phone before she could tell him what she had decided. He had been walking towards her apartment as she spoke, and now he waited with unease outside the door.  
  
------------------------ -----------  
  
Sara braced herself as she pulled the door open and found Grissom waiting anxiously outside her apartment. She considered the fact that he was here proof that he did care for her on some level, the kind of proof she had waited for patiently for years. The problem was she was tired of waiting. She deserved more than he was willing to give. She held the door open, allowed him to step inside, and then held her tongue as she permitted him time to assess her apartment. It was the first time he had visited her home and she was curious about what he thought. She refused to ask him, however, and knew that he would not volunteer the information. Therefore, the first words out of his mouth stunned her to the point of speechlessness.  
  
"This place reflects you perfectly, Sara." Grissom surveyed the spotless room and the well-organized spaces. "I like it."  
  
When she made no comment, he turned to search her face.  
  
"I want to say something before you give me your decision," Grissom watched the emotions that danced over her face and grimaced inwardly.  
  
"I'm taking the position," Sara blurted. She refused to allow him time to shatter her confidence and give her cause to doubt that she could handle the new responsibilities.  
  
A wave of nausea assaulted him, but he kept the bile from rising and smiled grimly. "I knew that you would."  
  
"I can handle the responsibilities," Sara watched him as he struggled to regain his composure.  
  
"I know that you can," Grissom managed. He rubbed the back of his neck and turned away from her determined gaze. He found himself staring at a plant that was thriving in the corner of the room. The orchid was beautiful. He was drawn to its side as Sara held her breath. He touched the green leaves with gentle fingers before speaking over his shoulder.  
  
"This plant is as beautiful as you are, Sara."  
  
The gasp that escaped from her lips would have amused him in more certain times. Today, it only served to confuse him. He slowly spun on his heels to face her, hesitant to see what effect his slip of the tongue would have caused.  
  
She had her eyes squeezed tight. Internally, Sara was steeling herself against his sporadic flirtation, not willing to cave in to it again. When she opened her eyes, he was regarding her with a candid expression.  
  
"What are you doing, Grissom? Why do you insist on playing these games with me?" Sara asked. Her face had taken on a hunted look as she questioned him.  
  
Grissom's emotions were wildly ranging the spectrum, from guilt to elation to self-reproach. It was almost as though a floodgate of emotions had opened within his mind and heart as he faced Sara.  
  
"If you are saying that to keep me on your shift, Gris, it won't work." Sara fought to keep her voice steady as her eyes misted.  
  
"If moving to that shift will make you happy, Sara, then I want you to take it." Grissom took a tentative step towards her. "If it will make it possible for us to repair the damage to our friendship and possibly move forward, then I will support it even more."  
  
Sara narrowed her eyes. "Define move forward." She held her breath as she waited for him to fumble over an explanation.  
  
Grissom resisted the urge to look down at his feet. He kept his eyes on her face and spoke with a softness that almost startled her.  
  
"I want to have dinner with you." Grissom smiled gently. "I want to take you to dinner some place where we can drink wine and dance all night long."  
  
"You really want me to stay on your shift, don't you Gris?" Sara tried to keep her words light, but her heart was slamming against her chest. He could not possibly be serious. He was saying all of the things she had dreamed him saying and the feeling was surreal.  
  
"Not if it means you are miserable," Grissom licked his lips. He could tell by her expression that she doubted the sincerity of his words. He took another step until he was only inches in front of her. "I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy." Grissom leaned forward until his lips grazed hers. He pulled back and studied her reaction. She was fighting her emotions and not doing so well hiding the turmoil.  
  
"Trust me, Sara?" Grissom's whispered words settled on her lips.  
  
She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. "Yes."  
  
He bent forward again, this time allowing his lips to linger a second longer than the first time. He waited for her decision and felt overwhelming delight when she returned his kiss.  
  
Sara felt one of his hands settle on her hip. The other hand was pressed against the back of her head as he explored her face.  
  
"Grissom?" Sara recovered her voice and thoughts enough to push lightly against his chest. She was experiencing a long held dream and did not want it to stop, but first she needed to know what he meant when he spoke with her on the phone. "Gris? What did you mean when you said that you discovered where you belong?"  
  
Pressing his forehead against hers, he pulled her body closer to his and offered her a smile. "I thought that was understood." He felt her tense slightly.  
  
She breathed out on a shaky breath. "I need to hear you say it."  
  
Speaking of his feelings was not easy for him, but he felt his life depended on his ability to give Sara some reassurance.  
  
"I was lost, unbalanced, and then I discovered the one thing, the one person that gives me my equilibrium back." Grissom hesitated and wrapped one hand beneath her chin. "I found you, Sara."  
  
Sara reached up, pulled him to her lips, and whispered. "You know how to make a woman do whatever you want, don't you Gris." It was not a question for Sara, but fact, as she felt his lips curve against her own.  
  
Fin. 


End file.
